For the past few weeks, the “soon-to-be” (as I will refer to her from now on) and I have been very cordial with one another. She has, very reluctantly, finally met some of my requirements to where I would provide her with money as long as she showed proof that she was actually using that money to provide the necessities for my children. All conversations have been about the children with no talk of any outside distractions…until recently.
So the last three times I’ve spoken to my children, they have accidentally mentioned or called me her boyfriend’s name. They quickly realize the error and call me dad. I usually bite my tongue as they don’t know any better when it ultimately comes down to it. However, the last time I spoke to them, it was the straw the broke the camel’s back. I told my “soon-to-be” that the children calling me by his name, accidentally or not, was “unacceptable.” She quickly replied and said she had no control on that. Seriously!!! You absolutely have control over that by not subjecting my children to his presence. We “both” agreed, in our parenting plan, not to have our children in the presence of our new found loves until a year has passed. Black and white…signed and sealed. She has obviously broken this agreement and could give two shits about second and third order effects it will have of them in the long run. She also tried to blame me for not “being around” for the reason they do that. Excuse me? You’re the one that took off and left without an excuse. My children would be with me if I had a voice in the matter.
So once again I told her my children “are not to around him…period” to which she replied “well you can’t control someone’s life considering I’m not doing anything wrong. Stop being jealous. There’s nothing to be jealous about. Chill.” Wow!!! First, what do I have to be jealous about? This sounds like, once again, her making excuses to justify her own actions. Second, you are doing something wrong because you are in violation…once again…of the parenting plan we both signed and agreed upon.
Has anyone noticed I’ve said “agreed” a few times throughout my blogs? I’m starting to wonder if she even knows what “agreed” means at this point.
I honestly don’t get why her or anyone would put their children second to their own self needs. Our needs as parents went out the window when we decided to have children. Granted, every parent needs to break away, but we owe it as parents to provide the best upbringing we can provide to ensure our kids are not subjected to our failures.
My children are everything to me. Their needs come first…not mine.