June and July came and went. I ultimately agreed that her having custody was in the best interest of the child moving forward. That was until August rolled around. At one of my co-workers going away party, I received a friend request on Facebook from someone I did not know or recognize so I just ignored it. About an hour into the party, I received another message from that person that contained 3 pictures of her and my children at a 4th of July party at her parents’ house. In these pictures contained another guy hugging on my wife and my kids. Another picture was of her and this guy with the phrase “I can stare at these eyes for the rest of my life” at the bottom. Whoever this person was also told me that they wanted me to know that she was dating someone else and thought I should know about it and that she had created a new Facebook page under a different name. Needless to say I was pissed. Highly pissed! I guess you could ask me why, but shit, somewhere deep inside of me was holding out that we still had a chance to reconcile. I sent her a message asking her if she was seeing someone else, for which she obviously said no. So I sent her the pictures. She “tried” to claim it was a family friend and that he had “beautiful eyes” that’s why that message was there. Not once in the 7 years we were married was this guy ever mentioned, or talked about or his family. Besides, no one makes comments like that about a “family friend.”
Over the next few days, she repeatedly denied that she was seeing someone and kept telling me that I knew nothing and it didn’t matter anyways because we weren’t together anymore. Well hell, if it didn’t matter, why make comments like that then? So I reached back out to the person who sent me the message on Facebook if they could provide anymore information but they deleted their account and I never heard from them again.
It’s funny how someone can claim that you are not together anymore but continuously ask for money every two days. My friends would tell me I’m a hard ass on the outside but a teddy bear on the inside. So every time she did ask for money, I would give it to her because I was always scared my kids would be starving. I tended to overthink the situation.
As the story developed and I learned new information about her “relationship” with this guy, the more and more she continued to deny it and become more hostile about the situation and threatened me by holding the children above my head as if they were some kind of bargaining chip. Since the situation had changed with her now “pursing” other people, so did my agreement about the custody of our children. I was not about to let some adulterous piece of crap (have proof I remind you) ruin my children’s lives because of her self-interests. When it was time to go to mediation, we both argued our points on why we should care for the kids. It really didn’t matter what she said (which wasn’t a lot), I wasn’t budging from my position to which I think she thought I was going to do. I think I surprised her by not rolling over and giving in as her ex-husband with my step-children. I will talk about this more in depth in a future post, but long story short, she admitted to her friend that since I knew about her new boyfriend, she knew that I wasn’t going to give up custody.
Since mediation failed, we were forced to go in front of the Judge and explain our position. What I thought would be a custody trail resulted in us both being berated by the Judge for failing to reach an agreement. He made it a point to put our self-interest aside and come to some kind of agreement that would best suit the interest of the children. So over the next 2 weeks, I just did that. I drafted up our custody plan and she eventually, although reluctantly, agreed.
And she just did that agreed…following the plan…well that is a different story.